What advice can you give to someone who is afraid to be the person he really wants to be?

You got one life. You can live it for you, or you can live it for whom? Is that other person going to be happy for you enough that you will somehow find happiness for yourself?

It's hard to answer this without specifics. For some people, it's good enough to do something that pleases their parents because that is what is most important to them, but I think parents also what their children happy. If you do something to make them happy, but are miserable yourself, you might all just end up disappointed.

On the other hand, flying against certain cultural norms can be downright dangerous. Do you believe enough in what is right to risk it?

On the other hand, if you never try, you will never know, and you might just end up leading a life of quiet desperation. You wouldn't be the first, but again, you've only got one life.

The director of my area assigned someone to monitor me. She went to ask everyone I interact with what I do. She tells me to report everything I do every day, even controlling where I sit, and it makes me wonder if I will be fired. What should I do?

It certainly sounds like you are being set up to be fired, but you could spin this another way.

What's another reason someone might be put in to observe your work?

I say you take on that they are observing your work because you are an exemplary employee, efficient, producing amazing results, and they want to study what works here in order to reproduce it. Of course this works best if you do actually bring a strong work ethic, a commitment to excellence, and ownership of the job and your company to your work (If you don't, it's time to start).

Then declare yourself this observer's partner, offer to create the manual for what you do, get (more) curious about how your work affects the health of the company and the value you add, and look with her at what can be done to take that up a notch, to make things work more smoothly with your colleagues, to improve channels of communications and optimize channels of production.

Talk to this person about goal setting for your job and making sure you are focusing on what is most important. Set goals, communicate them well, and exceed them.

In other words, be friggin' amazing. Add value to every interaction

But if the seating bothers you, this is a place you can take a stand. On the other hand, if it's just another slight to your dignity, then personalize and make the new spot beautiful and thank her for the new work space.

Now, if you get fired anyway, you've left a door open behind you that you can always walk back in to for a recommendation, or that you may be invited back into if they really see that you are the best for your job.

And if you don't, take on this way of being for the rest of your working career.

And, if this all sounds way too far fetched, then ask yourself if you were really that into your job anyway, and weren't just setting yourself up to be fired anyway. It doesn't matter that others might occur to be less into their job and even less value to the organization. (This is not for you to judge.) They might smile differently at the boss, actually have better results, or just not be as annoying as you are.

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’
“No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Asked on Quora:

Should I support my musician boyfriend pursue his dreams while he depends on me financially completely? He has been trying for about 6 years.

No. You should tell him to get a damned job and pursue his music on the side.

It's time to stop trying and start doing. And when he takes on his job, he should take on doing it with excellence.

And then, especially if he hates his job, tell him to double down on his music. Work full time at his job, and work full-time at his music, with the same damned intensity.

Then he'll know if he really wants his music, or just likes calling himself a musician.

And don't let him get away with just practicing. A musician performs. Make sure he's booking at least one gig a week, and giving it his all.

But don't you dare suffer for his art. If he wants to suffer for his art, that's great. You can drive him to his gigs, be his sound engineer if you want, and be his biggest fan, but he's got to take on being the damned artist.

Gemma Evans

Today's assignment is pretty simple:

1. Write down a list of your top twenty five goals in life. Include here things you are already achieving, like raising your kids.
2. Circle the top five.
3. Now consider the other twenty. And then forget them.

These are your distractions. These are the things that will keep you from having what you want. To these you must say no, that is if you want to achieve the top five.

Here's the thing: If you don't know what you want, how are you going to get it? How are you going to know if you won your game this year? And if you want to win your game, you might want a coach to help you do that. And if you can't afford a personal coach, at least find yourself a mentor, even if he's virtual, even if he's dead. One of my gurus is Ben Adkins who, fortunately, is among the living.

I've been growing as I've been watching him grow. He does this annual Better Life Sequence call. It's been getting simpler and simpler. He's been getting more to the point, and making it simpler and simpler to take the first steps.

Dear Friends:

Originally posted to help you create 2018, this formula, and the sequence that follows, can be tried on any time. Sign on for a handful of exercise to take a look at where you are and determine where you want to go. Get those two figured out and you—with our help, if you want—can create a plan to get there.

We expect that some of you don't need any more than this reminder to set your year up. If you are one of those, we acknowledge you and invite you to get on with it.

For some of us though, we know a little nudge now will set us on a course to a much different place by the end of the year.

If you are one of these, in a few moments we'll invite you to get on our list so we can provide that nudge.

For some it's much worse. You're surprised you are even here at all. And maybe you're a bit like I was: Maybe you've made New Year's Resolutions. You've stopped doing that. You are so sure you'll fail, you don't want to make any promises at all. It's just too painful.

And if you are one of these, I'm glad you are here at all. It suggests you've still got at least a glimmer of hope. It suggests that at some level you know you can beat your demons. You, make that we, know that there's a bigger life available for us, and we're ready to support each other in creating it.

So for those who want a little nudge, and those who haven't given up, for those willing to take on that something else is possible, we invite you to sign on to our list. We'll be sending you a series of prompts for thought and action as we start 2018.

And here's our first: What did you do that you are proud of in 2017? Be generous with yourself. It could be that you made your first million, or your first dollar, that you married, or just went on a date, or just that you are still here to start 2018. There is no accomplishment too small if it means something to you. Please feel free to share in the comments below.

And in the meantime, sign on to:

Let's Create 2018

What should I do and avoid to do to improve myself by 1% every single day?

1. Sleep enough
2. Eat Well
3. Exercise
4. Touch one person’s life
5. Practice whatever it is you want to get better at. Get a coach to make sure you are doing the kind of practice that will lead to the quickest results. See Jim Kwik, Tim Ferriss, Eric Barker (there are many others) to help you get the results you want fastest.
6. Practice Gratitude

Make sure the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual are all addressed each day. For some this is walk in the park, literally. For others it’s some kind of meditation, mindfulness practice, or keeping a journal. For some it’s writing down ten ideas a day (I highly recommend this). Pick your flavor and stick with it.

And get a coach. I have limited slots available at the moment. Let's talk. Use coupon code LIMITED50. This will only be available for the first five takers or until my schedule is fully booked again.