David Herz for the Work You Love

Is it best to not make friends when you work in a competitive environment?

Everyone is competing for new positions and to work their way up in life. I feel that making strong friends with coworkers is not a great idea because you are all competing for new promotions. This is especially true in my industry of finance.

No. Your co-workers are not your enemies. And it’s always good to have a friend. Ati you spend most of your waking hours at work. Why should you feel you are at battle? You are living inside a zero-sum philosophy that makes life a lot less fun.

Instead, be the guy that is always ready to give a hand, to help people be better. The paradox is that when you make it your point to be a great friend, to make sure as many people as possible succeed, you are going to be the one with the easiest access to “success,” however you define it, and certainly the easiest one to rally around when the time for a promotion comes.

I have a colleague who backstabbed me and ratted me out on a work issue that included us both. Henceforward How do I deal with him in a civil Manner?

You stop using these loaded words for one. He did something you didn't expect. He related information that you would rather he not have related. Or he told an untruth. And you turned it into something. You acknowledge what happened, tell him what didn't work and ask him how things occurred from his side.

Also, if he “ratted you out,” it sounds like you were engaged in activity not consistent with what is expected of you at your job. You can't be ratted out for doing what you were expected to do. That's just relating fact. So you step up and take responsibility for not being completely responsible about doing your job, and you create a new promise, and live into it.